Topic #2: Leggings, Jeggings & Jean Leggings

Hello all, or none, whichever amount of people read this blog.

I am going to discuss the terrible, aweful, horrible invention of leggings.  Well, leggings aren't terrible when worn properly like so:

Notice how these beautiful ladies have leggings on... & they look cute... what are they doing right? I'll tell ya, ladies & gents, they all have something covering their coocah (thank you, Snooki, for such a fun word to use referring to a womans vagina).  ATTENTION COLLEGE AGED WOMEN: Leggings are NOT PANTS!!!!!!  That's right, for some reason you seem to think that you can throw on a pair of leggings & a short T & walk out of your room & bee-bop to class w/ no issues.  WRONG! You have a camel toe, no if, ands, or butts about it.  Also, if you're not smart enough to wear a thong w/ said leggings, you have a terrible granny panty line that makes this fashion disaster even worse.  Let me just show you what I mean:

Ick. That's all I have to say about that.  Please place your vagina in pants or under a skirt, dress, or LONG t-shirt.  Thank you. 

A side rant, can someone please explain to me the purpose of jeggings?  Just buy a pair of tight jeans, there, problem solved.

Now, leggings can be a good thing. & sometimes girls wear all their leggings during the week w/ their belly shirts & crop tops so they're dirty when they really need them... w/ a short dress worn to go out & fish for a gentleman caller to bring home.  Now, as much as I don't want to see your coocah in the form of a camel toe in your leggings, I also don't want to catch a peek of it when the wind blows & your inappropriately short outfit drafts up & reveals your kitty.  If your booty is about to peek out below your outfit, leggings are necessessary.  Let me show you:

Now the woman on the left has a brain, the one on the right, looks like she just had an affair w/ her boss & couldn't find her vodka soaked secretary garb while trying to run out of his house when his wife got home.  That just looks trashy & frankly, nobody is going to respect you.  Some girls will try & be tricky & throw a belt on just to help w/ the wind blowing situation, but that doesn't work either. Sorry.

Some of you might not think I have any right to pick on how people dress, & to be quite honest, I'm no fashion icon... I can almost guarantee you that I've committed some fashion crimes that people would laugh at me for or b*#$% about in a blog... but you know what, I'm ranting & you're (hopefully) laughing. This is all in good fun, so be good about it & have some fun.

Introduction & Topic #1: Boots & Shorts

I know what you're thinking... another rant blog by some a$$hole.  Well, let me tell you something... you're right.  I just hope mine is funny & you don't hate yourself after. (that's what she said?  no? OK)

Basically I'm just going to pick a topic that is very relevant & in DIRE need of addressing & b*#$% about it & hope that other people chime in.  Simple as that.

This first topic is one that is directed mostly towards females, but men are also guilty.  Here goes.  Boots of any kind, ugg, work, tims, etc, are NOT to be worn with anything but a pant.  Period. End of story. 

I do not understand why girls insist on slipping into their warm comfy & most of the time stylish WINTER boots when they're wearing daisy dukes. It's NOT CUTE!  You look stupid!  & yes, cowboy boots with shorts look stupid too, so don't think you're safe, Annie Oakley.

Point in case... even cute celebs like Hayden make the tragic mistake of putting on the uggs w/ the shorts.  All this says to me is that you're confused about the weather, or that you're going to be wading through something later that won't go past your mid shin.  Shit, perhaps?

I'm not saying that ugg boots, or any boots of the like, aren't cute.  I own 2 pairs of boots & love when it gets cold enough to buy this seasons pair or if you're poor like me, bust last years pair out of the basement & rock them proudly.  They look really cute with a nice pair of jeans, or with a pair of tights & a LONG shirt/dress (topic #2?), not shorts, skirts w/o tights, capris (jean or legging), or anything else above the ankle.* Basically boots & bare skinned legs are ridiculous & should be outlawed.  Don't you think its unconstitutional? I do.

*For the record, I have, in fact, been seen outside w/ boots (slipper boots, not uggs) & my pj capri pants.  Not acceptable, I know, but it was at night & nobody saw me but my best friend. Everyone makes mistakes, get over it.

Now women aren't the only ones guilty of this tragic fashion faux pa.  Men also can be charged.  A felony charge is what I see fit.  A man in ugg boots is simply unacceptable.  A man in ugg boots and capris!?!?!?  I don't even have any words for this.  I'm so disturbed. I'm not gonna b*#$% about this one b/c well, it speaks for itself.

As if it weren't bad enough, this fine gentleman is wearing what I'm pretty sure are WOMENS ugg boots.  That's his choice & I won't judge him for that... but he's not wearing them properly & for that, sir, I say, not excusable.  Not at all.

& I can't tell you how many grown a$$ men I've see wondering around in public w/ shorts & some raggity a$$ work boots w/ concrete & dirt crusted to them.  Most of the time they're untied.  This is just offensive.  Rednecks need to be tamed.  What work are you doing that allows you the comfort of hoop shorts but the danger of work boots? The devil's work, that's what kind.  What will you be doing that you need bare legs & steel-toed foot protection? I'm not sure, but you look dumb doing it, I know that much.

Now don't get mad at me for calling you out.  We've all done it, but that doesn't make it okay.  What my goal is is to stop the stupidity, plain & simple.  I want to make everyone aware of issues plaguing American streets that may not be as important as some others.  Sometimes we need a break from the troubles that mean something & should have a laugh at the troubles that let smart people laugh at dumb people.

If you have any topics you'd like addressed, please, comment & let me know.  I can pretty much b*#$% about anything & everything.  Also I'm new to the blogging scene, so if you know how I can make this better, please let me know.  I like constructive criticism... now if you're just going to be a d*$%, well... I'll just laugh @ you & ignore your advice.