Topic #3: Facebook Blunders

Facebook.  A great social tool that keeps people connected no matter where they are.  I love Facebook & check it regularly, like most people.  But some things are just getting ridiculous.  I get irritated by the misuse of the 'book, like most of my friends.  Here are a few examples.

1. Giving yourself a Facebook 'youkindaridikulus' Nickname. So I don't know why people think it's cool to give themselves nicknames on Facebook.  First of all, giving yourself a nickname in general is kinda lame.  If your friends don't give you one, then you don't have a nickname, period. It's lame enough that you try to tell people what to call you when it's not your name, or some form of your name. But why do you have to put it on the Internet?  Here's a few examples:

Jamie 'babygirl' Williams
Sammi 'paperchaser' Kennedy
Michael 'f*ckb!tchesgetmoney' Edmonds
Jake 'rockinyaworld' Timmons

I just made those ones up, b/c I didn't want anyone to cry b/c I called them out directly, but it's really stupid. Just stick w/ your government, people will still like you if you don't have a rad nickname, I promise.

2. Liking your own stuff.  We get it, dood.  You love that new Bruno Mars joint, your outing to the bar, & Julie's birthday extravaganza you attended.  We knew you liked it when you put it up on your page.  There is no need to like it after you put it up.  That's just irritating & we assume you don't have anything better to do than like your own stuff.  Message sent, you enjoy the things on your page, apparently an extra amount.

3. The emo status. I understand some people don't get the attention they like or deserve.  But honestly, crying about it on the 'book won't help your situation.  Now, I'm also guilty of putting some emotion in my status, but I've never gone too far w/ it.  Usually my status is a shout out to someone I love or song lyrics.  But never have I ever posted 'why does everyone hate me?' or something of the like. I'm not a fan of the statuses that try to make you seem more fulfilled than you actually are.  You know what I'm talking about... when you see your news feed cluttered with 'I am sooo busy! I don't know how I'll even fit one more thing into my schedule.' or 'I'm the single greatest gift God has given to women.'  No, you're not.  Know how I know you're lonely.... yeah, your status. All I think about you now is that you're a tool.

4. The 'Me' Albums.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.  Those cute people who dedicate an entire photo album (or two or three) to 53 different pictures of just them.  Those are the tool bags you don't wanna be friends w/... & I'm sorry for being so blunt about it. Wait, no I'm not.  Anyways, how many different pictures of your face is enough for you people?  I have a few self portraits on my page, yes, but no albums entitled 'me'. You look lonely & you probably have a few statuses to enforce that assumption.  Lemme give you a tip... you look cooler if you have pictures w/ people in them... you know, like friends. NOBODY is that good looking... not even my beloved LL Cool J.

5. Four Square Mishaps.  OK, so people are nosey, myself included.  I like to know what my people are up to & what they do w/ their lives.  Four Square is a cool feature to let people know what you're doing & who you're doing it with.  That being said, if you're walking into town & you check in every 20 steps at every place you pass, stop it.  Nobody cares THAT much as to what you're doing & where you're at. Once you get to your destination, the place you're gonna be for at least 20 minutes, then check in.  I'll be OK w/ that, as will your entire friends list who will get to creep on other people in their news feed, not just you.

There are hundreds more, but to me, these are the most offensive.  So, knock the sh!t off.  Your Facebook life will be much better, I promise.  && people will be waaaay less irritated w/ you.

Remember, my words come from the heart & are meant w/ the most loving & concerned intentions.  If you get offended, you're just a pansy.  ;)