I think this time I'm gonna take my ranting a little more seriously. I'll still be hilarious, as always, but I'd like to tackle a topic not only that I see waaaaaay too often, but one that I know bothers most of us. I would like to talk about mothers who do not know how to take care of their babies. I do not have children, but I have been around children since I myself was a child. I have a huge family and constantly have young cousins around and can even vividly remember the birth and growth of my own brother, who is 10 years younger than me.
Another thing I can't stand is when I see babies who have huge mats in their hair. I know that it is impossible, and not necessarily beneficial to your child to hold him constantly. I also understand that newborns will have the big bald spots because they can't hold their heads up. However, when your child is approaching his first birthday, you should be able to run a brush/comb/your fingers through their hair, if they have that much. Just brush it. It's pretty simple. I mean, kids have big heads for their bodies, that's just how it is. But their heads are still pretty small in comparison to yours. And they usually do not have full heads of hair. Wash and brush it. Baby brushes are like, less than $2 and baby shampoo is about the same price. I know, I've purchased it, and used it on a child before. Some hair is hard to manage, I have personal experience with that. I have know kids on both ends of the spectrum, so I know that no matter how hard it is to manage your child's wild hair, it is possible. My little cousin has the tightest curls I have ever seen, yet I know her mother takes the time to brush and care for her hair so it's never matted. If she can do it, anyone can.
Another thing I see way too often are kids out in public looking like they just came from mud sliding after they took part in a huge food fight. I get it that kids are messy, dirty, and sometime gross little people and that it's impossible to keep them from getting filthy. From birth they're constantly slopping food, dirt, blood, and spit everywhere. But you should probably know after a few minutes of parenthood that you need at least one if not more extra clothes in your diaper bag. At minimum throw a bib on the kid. I know one thing a parent goes through thousands of are baby wipes, paper towels, tissues, and shirt sleeves to keep their kids from looking like slop tarts. (Coined phrase by me and my friend Nate, but you can use it, but only hilariously, please). It's ridiculous how many times you have to wipe your child's face and hands, but again, a necessity of parenthood.
Speaking of diaper bags, they look like this:
They come in thousands of sizes, colors, themes, styles, etc. They can even look like a fashion accessory more so than a bottle, blanket, diaper and baby wipe carrier. EVERY MOTHER NEEDS SOME SORT OF DIAPER BAG. I don't care if you have one kid, or 100 kids. They range in prices and you can use anything, a plastic bag is better than nothing. There are certain things you just have to have on your person at all times when you're a parent. A small list would include but is not limited to diapers, wipes, powder, bottles, formula, food, bibs, extra clothes, extra socks (kids are always losing socks in public, it's like, their thing), changing pad, a blanket, a pacifier, toys, and books. Some things are more necessary than others, but you get the picture.
Another thing I can't stand is when I see a parent wearing weather-appropriate clothing and their kid, at any age, is running around in opposite attire. If you're cold, your kid is most definitely cold. Now I know the older your child gets, the more defiant they will likely become, but come on, folks, they're kids. I have had my share of experiences with stubborn children. Another cousin of mine, who is one of my most favorite people in the world, has her own idea of how things should be going, and if your plan doesn't fit her plan, you better figure out how to change her mind, which is near impossible. She will defy you at every turn, but even she can be bribed, er, I mean guided to the appropriate outcome. I know that not everyone has the luxury of money, I myself struggle constantly and don't know how I would ever afford a kid in my current situation. I do know, however, that there is a way to get your kid clothes with out a lot of or without even any money. I frequently visit my local Goodwill stores. Their baby clothes selection is freaking amazing, most of the time. A lot of the stuff I see there is brand new, and I always see coats for all size babies. They're usually between $1-$5. That's not a ton of money, especially if you work or receive assistance. I also know of a lot of places, like Salvation Army or your local city mission that collect donations and distribute them to those who need it. However, if you can afford a pack of cigarettes a day, you can skip a pack for your child, which leads me into my next topic.
Know what really grinds my gears? (Thank you Peter Griffin) When a parent smokes while their child is in the local vicinity. Equally disturbing is when you, as a parent, do not smoke around your child, but allow others to do so, especially indoors or in a vehicle. Are you kidding me? That's just ridiculous and pretty shitty. A lot of problems arise when young, growing lungs are exposed to constant smoke, either cigarette or, yes, I've seen people smoke illegal substances around their child. Both are equally disturbing. You should be slapped once for every puff of smoke your child has inhaled because of your stupidity. I get smoking, I know how addicting and sometimes necessary people feel it is. But it's very easy to not smoke around your child. Don't do it. Pretty simple concept, right? If you don't have the means to step outside, then maybe you just have to cut back. Parenting requires sacrifices.
I personally know people that fit into one or more of these categories. The reason, if any, that this hasn't come up to your face is because I don't think I could tell you without hitting said face. I don't need any lawsuits, nobody got time for that. Most times, I do bring up these things and almost always am just trying to help. Some people are simply ignorant (not ignernt, which is the way I refer to people who are rude) to the duties and responsibilities of raising a child. Not everyone is blessed the way I am (thank you Mom) to have someone who would help and educate you to the ways of raising a healthy, clean child. But there are hundreds of resources for you to use to learn and to receive help. WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) is an AMAZING program. They provide assistance in buying groceries and baby supplies along side of so many learning opportunities. They will answer your questions and provide information on any issues you have. You also have access to health care for your child through CHIP to get your child health insurance so you have access to a pediatrician. CCYS is a program that helps you on the avenue of child care and more. If you can't afford child care services, they will help supplement what you can not afford, even fully if they find you can not afford any part. Each state/county has their own program and the link I've provided is for Washington County, PA, where I live. Here's even a website about parenting that offers tips and resources for parents. I mean, you can even use Bing to search parenting and find millions of sites with tips and offers. In this day and age, there are really NO EXCUSE for poor parenting. 
For this post, if you're offended, then you're probably guilty of being a crap parent. I know plenty of people in all types of hard situations that are phenomenal parents. They go through monetary hardships, hard living situations, going to school, addictions, family problems, work problems, relationship problems and any other problems that arise, but they still manage to take care of their child. They keep them clean and clothed. If they can do it, anyone can. I also know at times you get burnt out. It's rough, I am completely aware. I hope that all of you are lucky enough to have people in your life helping you who can relieve you of your duties periodically so you don't pull out all of your hair. If not, bless you, for you're a special kind of person. If you know me, I'm cool people and I can babysit for you once in awhile. It would do you, and your child, some good to be around so much awesome. Ask my cousins, they're a lot cooler since hanging out with me. ;-)
****Shout out to those parents who wipe, wash, carry, soak, replace, and apologize a thousand times a day on behalf of their children. Children can be hard to handle, and sometimes it seems like they spit up on everything you own on purpose. Let me thank you on their behalf, they'll (hopefully) outgrow that stage soon. Keep it up, you're a star.****
